Embrace
by Shadow-Hanyo
Summary: Roxas can't feel the warmth, will he ever be able to see axel again?AkuRoku, trying some angst, enjoy please comment
1. Prologue

**- Yes it is the warmth I miss most…I was not there when you vanished from my life, but I felt you slip past my fingers…I do not have a heart but when you died I swear one broke. Yes what I miss most is your warmth, the warmth that I knew even though I was alone, you were always out there. Somewhere…yes somewhere, sending me the heat of your love. Yes what I miss most is the warmth, for without it even fire is cold –**


	2. Chapter 1

He had been wandering, for how long even he was unsure of, time seemed to go backwards and forward at the same time. But to the blonde walking the paved streets, body cloaked in black, time didn't matter. Yes…time was of no consequence when inside his hollow chest no heart beat, not a single stroke of the rhythm ever human knew so very well. He sighed and slowed, even without a heart he grew tired after possibly day's of walking, his eyes were falling shut with each step. Feeling himself wobble and stumble as he dozed off for a second, he knew it was time to seek out a place to rest. In such a dark city there had to be one warm place he could sneak into…warm. He hated even thinking of it; he could never ever be warm again…not without HIM.

It wasn't long till he was huddled under an overpass, it was safe and dry. A light rain had begun falling and the low rumble of thunder threatened of a harsher storm to come. Sighing he slid his hood off his head and shook out his blond hair, it spiked out around his ears, some people would call it a mess but he just called it unique.

He started to trace his fingers over the cool stone of the curved wall before he slid back against it. The area was safe but it also stunk, no matter like he had thought before at least it was dry. A loud yawn escaped his mouth and his eyelids grew even heavier, with a reluctant sigh the blonde finally gave into his exhaustion. Falling into sleep, his body slumped forward and his head was pressed firmly into his knees.

The door slid silently open, a cloaked figure standing stiff and still inside the frame of the entrance way. The two keyblades, tight in his grip, flickered and vanished from existence as he crossed over the threshold and into the room. It was dark, the only light coming from the silver beams of the moon as they shone through the large window; it cast an eerie glow on the other side of the small quarters.

A man turned slightly from his seat by the window, the pale light catching his emerald colored eyes making them glow like a feline in the darkness, the eyes of a hunter. "Roxas," his voice was hardly hearable to the young teen standing before him.

Pulling back his hood he revealed wild, untamed blonde hair, pale skin and beautiful light blue eyes. He nodded and let their gazes linger on each other for a minute, unspoken words traveling back and forth between the two youths. Roxas closed the distance between them quickly, no word being spoken as he reached out and zipped the others cloak down, only stopping once he reached his waist.

The lithe teen stiffened up and his jaw tightened with nervousness, "Roxas?" He sounded calm, calmer then he looked or would be if anyone else tried such an act.

"Axel, do you remember?" Roxas's fingers ran up his bare chest, trying to ignore the feel of his hidden muscles, pausing only when he reached the place where his heart should be. His fingers pushed a little harder, searching for a pulse, but there was nothing… this was an emptiness they both shared….there was no heart.

"Sort of," Axel had relaxed already, leaning back against the cool pane of the window. His gaze was locked intensely on his friend, studying him and the actions he was making.

"I don't," he rubbed the spot firmly, pushing his palm flat onto the smooth skin. There was the steady movement of his chest as he breathed but there was no heart, he felt nothing. His gaze flickered up catching Axel's gaze for a second before he looked back down to where they touched, hand softly rubbing his warm flesh.

Axel leaned in to Roxas's touch, his red hair moving and shifting like a flickering flame. "Don't worry," his voice was softer then usual, tone gentle for Roxas's sake. "One day you will find your heart," his arms raised and wrapped around the cloaked boy, pulling him against his bare torso. "Even," there was a pause as he nuzzled into the mess of blond hair below his face, "if it doesn't look like it should."

Roxas had no clue what he meant and he was not planning on asking any time soon, Axel seemed to talk in riddles so he left it at that, he was satisfied with just being in his arms. He had found out not long ago that, here, held against this man, tight in his embrace was the only time he felt warm. It had always surprised him, the throbbing heat that waved through him each time they touched. Breathing in deep the scent of burning wood filled his nostrils, he wouldn't admit it but he just adored….no loved that scent, it always meant Axel.

"Roxas," the voice was right in his ear, the touch of his lips sending shivers through his smaller body. When had he stopped nuzzling in his hair? Roxas wasn't exactly sure. Lifting his head their gazes connected, sparks dancing between them. "Do you feel better?"

All Roxas do was blush and nod, he didn't think he would ever understand the feeling that Axel gave him.

"Good," his lips curved in a playful smirk and before Roxas could react he kissed him. If the young nobody had a heart he was sure it would be slamming against his rib cage.

The red head deepened their kiss before Roxas could pull away, the smell and taste of sea salt ice-cream strong in his nose and on his tongue. The pink muscle skimmed over the boy's lips, teasing him for entry into the unknown domain. It was a risky move, but risk was his thing.

A hand tangled into the mass of red hair, and as Axel's fingers brushed up against his cheek he gave in and parted his lips. Their bodies melted together, tongues lashing out finding each other in a flurry of exploration and undiscovered desire.

The scent of burning fire and sea salt ice-cream mingled and mixed together to make a new and amazing smell, a smell that meant much more then a kiss.

It wasn't till they pulled away, both heaving for air, did Roxas fully comprehend what they had just done…his face turned the shade of Axel's hair with realization. With a weak growl he curled his nails into the man's chest, it was all he could do to try and hide the fact that he had loved the kiss, but even though he tried to look upset it was obvious he had enjoyed it. "Idiot," it was the only word his jumbled mind could muster.

"You know," he leaned in so their noses brushed against each other, "my heart…was always feisty." The words confused Roxas and as Axel stared deep into his eyes, flashing a toothy grin, he forgot all about them and allowed himself to be pulled into another kiss.


	3. Chapter 2

Roxas gasped, eyes flying opening, searching the darkness that had surrounded him. But there was nothing, no wide smile, no red untamed hair…no Axel. Everything had been a dream, no a memory, the last real memory he had of the man who meant so much to him. Tears welled in his blue eyes, he could still feel the kiss tingling on his lips and the scent of the campfire still filled the air around him. Breathing in deep through his nose he tried to replace that perfect scent with the smell of rain and garbage. Instead his nose filled once again with the familiar woody aroma, like a camp fire in the middle of June, Roxas was shocked by it and if he had a heart he was sure it would have stopped dead in his chest.

Axel…there was no mistaking it, that was HIS scent; he could and never would forget it. Before he realized what he was doing, he was up and running through the empty streets, just following his nose. The rain beat down on him, quickly soaking his cloaked body to the bone, cheeks smeared with both the storm and his own tears.

AXEL!!!

It just had to be him, Roxas's body ached with the want for him, it hurt so much and if felt like…for the first real time he was truly missing his heart and not just the strange numb feeling he was used to having. Something was truly missing from his life and at this point he would do anything to feel that warmth again!!!

"AXEL!!" The church doors rattled open as they were forced apart, but…no man stood on the other side, just the shadowed vacant praying area. The pews sat empty, but a flicker of light caught his attention, at the end of the isle were two rows of warm glowing candles. The smell of the flames were even stronger here, it was wrapping around him, chocking him with want. Closing his eyes and clenching he jaw he gave a soft cry, opening them slowly thinking he heard something he looked back down the isle.

He froze, hands on his cheeks as he stared down the isle. Axel…it couldn't be, it was a trick of the light, it had to be…That flame red hair wasn't there, that slim almost to skinny body wasn't standing bathed in candle light just on the other side of the room. His mind knew it was a trick or illusion but his body propelled forward with a need for that warmth he loved and missed.

Outstretched arms didn't wrap around a tall warm man, instead they enclosed around a cold, almost icy, surface of a mirror. Pulling back he stared startled at his reflection. The boy that stared back looked pitiful, a pained expression permanently shadowing his features, his body shivering and soaking wet, and then his eyes…the clear blue iris's empty of all happy feelings.

"No," he closed his eyes tight, "why…WHY!?!" No pain came to him, the soft crackling sound the only hint to what he had done. Drip…drip…drip, glass and blood fell at his feet. Eyes slowly reopening he started at the mirror, spider web cracks running off from where his first was firmly planted against it. The scent of Axel filled his nostrils again, the rage flooded into him.

"Why did you have to die?" The scream echoed through the church, being thrown back at him and repeated over and over. Raising another hand he connected with the mirror, shattering another section, his hands being cut up but Roxas didn't care. Soon he was pounding on it, over and over, screaming and crying hot tears. Thunder and lightning rumbled through the skies, the cold water pouring from the heavens outside but inside glass and blood were the only things showering down.

Exhaustion soon took over and he collapsed to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably for the first few seconds. Slowly opening his glossy eyes he gazed around his knees, blood and glass a sea around him. Looking down at his hands and arms he wasn't surprised by the sight. His flesh was torn apart, cuts crisscrossing every which way, pale skin stained with the flowing blood. A soft chuckle escaped his lips; all he could do was laugh at the realization of what he had done. The warm red liquid was creating a puddle around him, black cloak being stained with red. Black spots were starting to dot his vision and in the larger pieces of glass he could see himself already starting to pale.

Death, his eyes shut, death was coming for him and he could feel the cold already starting to seep into his body. Finally after so long of wishing and fearing death, it was happening, all because of his anger and stupidity…But maybe this was a blessing and not a curse, it all depended where a nobody went after death. Would he just vanish from existence, he was no real human so he had no clue were he would end up…would he just disappear without ever seeing Axel again…never feel that warm touch or hear his childish words. The thought of never seeing Axel again scared him, disappearing into nothing scared him, the more he thought about were he would go the more he was sure he would just vanish.

He could almost feel the darkness coming for him, trying to reclaim him, that's all he was…darkness.

Gasping he cringed back as a burning white light pierced through his lids, it surprised him and frightened him even more…this wasn't darkness. Slowly he opened his eyes, his cold tired body warming in the steady rats of the light. Blinking a few times he was relieved when the light softened up, less harsh against his pupils, he tilted his head and blinked a few more times. Staring intently into it he felt his body shudder, the smell was back…the gentle aroma of firewood being burnt.

"Axel," it was the first word that he could think of when he saw it, his eyes widened as a dark figure appeared out of the light. As the man became more focused the scent grew stronger, with the little strength he had left he rose slowly to his feet. "Axel," tears threatened to fall as the figure turned, light trimming his slim almost too skinny body.

"Hey Roxy," a smile grew on the man's face and Roxas felt his body starting to tremble. Was this an illusion also? Something that happened so close to death… "Long time no see," he smirked and tilted his head back.

It was about the most idiotic thing to say, but to Roxas it just made him happy, his body warming up with just those simple words. Pushing his tired body forward he reached out for the man, praying that this time Axel was real.

Long, strong arms found his, pulling him into a warm and firm grasp. "Roxas," this time Axel just whispered his name, hugging him as tight as possible.

The tears came then, the warmth of Axel's touch spread throughout his body, a body which had for so long been frozen. It tingled in his fingers and wrapped around him like those strong arms had, it slowly filled the empty place where his heart should be. There was no longer a painful emptiness or a numb feeling he had felt during his time in the Organization…No know it felt full, whole, like Axel's warmth had formed the heart he had been missing.

_"One day you will find your heart…Even if it doesn't look like it should."_

The words of Axel all those years ago filled his mind, had he been talking about himself? Roxas remembered also that he had called his own heart feisty, had he meant Roxas at the time...Axel's heart was Roxas and Roxas's heart…was Axel. But, as they embraced each other in the warmth of the light, Roxas knew Axel had also been wrong. His heart looked the way it should and always would.

Closing his eyes he felt the light around them both, death no longer scared him, no for death wasn't an ending but a beginning, a new beginning for him and Axel. A beginning of love, after so much pain and darkness they were finally being allowed into the light. Those were the last thoughts passing through the blondes mind before Axel and he were taken fully into the light.

The next morning when the preacher entered the church he would find no body, broken glass or even blood. All that was left were two rows of candles almost at their wicks ends – one row of thirteen and one row of eight – and the faint scent of sea salt ice-cream and a summer fire.


End file.
